Writings from a Journal

Inside of Me

Lost and confused inside from the nothingness of me
Hollow and alone and down on my face asking for forgiveness
Screaming from all the wounds and praying on my knees
Begging for strength and waiting for God’s grace

Let me take back my life
Release me from this empty space
I cannot hold any longer this inside strife
Take away this poison lace

Sometimes it does not make any sense at all
I’m helpless in this darkness quest
I let my self get lost inside when it calls
To numb away the pain in my chest

I want to stand up and take the blame
And move forward to make a change
For years and years I want to end this game
Somehow I’m stuck because of my shame

I want to break away, I want to feel, I want to heal
But paralyzed of the unknown
Afraid by the pain of the ordeal
For I know I am alone

I hated what I took that became part of me inside
Clinging to me like stars in the sky
And in my thought and in my soul it glides
For I will take it until I die

(Madrid, Spain)