Drowning

I am drowning
I cannot breath anymore
From the pain so deep
Tormenting my soul.
Since the day I open my eyes
in the world so cold and dark.
Chain to my sorrow,
In anguish I remain forever.

Forsaking by angels in heaven
Alone, lamenting in the valley of death
Waiting for redemption
That will never come.

Here in the edge of hell
I mourn and cry
Till my tears turn to dust.
For I will be walking restlessly
on this plain till the end of time.

1:51pm 08/31/06 – Los Angeles, CA.

Warning: Graphic Images

Violent acts toward animals have long been recognized as indicators of a dangerous psychopathy that does not confine itself to animals. Anyone who has accustomed himself to regard the life of any living creature as worthless is in danger of arriving also at the idea of worthless human lives.

Achieve Nirvana by Learning as much as Possible about Life and the Universe.

The forces which created us, random or otherwise, have spoken. And I've determined that life sucks. I struggle with all these problems year after year and getting nowhere. I wonder if anything will ever change and the unavoidable reality of it all is…. that life really sucks! Dealing with this reality is a constant struggle, day in and day out. Without an end in sight! How do you deal with this dilemma? I walk everyday on this planet and somehow I see the pain and suffering of people but somehow the rest of society just don’t give a crap about it. Most people I know are oblivious to the ills of the world. Busy with their own delusions and desires. Feeding their own ego! They are so out of touch that I feel like smacking their heads so they can come to their senses or pull their head out from their ass and show them reality. Maybe, this is what life is about anyway, no meaning, no purpose just self indulgence and seek your own happiness, whatever it maybe since we are all going to die anyway... sooner or later. Sounds selfish? Maybe. Life is about... me and I and myself! We are here to compete with each other, which is a natural instinct of every living species from a single cell to the most complex. Survival instinct. The law of nature. We may surrounds ourselves with the latest technologies offer by science but somehow we still cannot deny our primordial instinct to compete in order to survive. But, this not the kind of competition from millions of eons ago, this is different! We now compete for acceptance and status. We hordes material things while other could not even eat. From non-essential to the most ridiculous just to prove we can afford and can get it. To feel secured. To proved that we have arrived and be accepted. We busied our lives just to avoid and play blind to the people who need our assistance, our compassion. The same people promised by the system during the election year. But as an individual what can I do? Is having a sense of awareness enough? Maybe it is just only the beginning of a personal journey.

Ignorance Is Not Bliss

The Earth does not belong to us...
We belong to the Earth
Man did not weave the web of life
He is merely a strand in it.
Whatever he does to the web,
He does to himself.

VIDEO OF THE TIMES: Discovery

Day after day I see faces slide by in a rush of light and color. Everyone dashing by in masses of blurred humanity amidst of this multicolored swirl, flowing and merging and streaming down like a river of kaleidoscope. Everyone seems busy looking for something. Things to happen in our life, for our lives to change or go in the other direction, we look for miracle; we seek those thunderous things to happen, the parting of the seas, the moving of the mountains, etc. We want to be free. Free from the murkiness of our mundane life. How detrimental is this to our soul? Perhaps it’s not the wanting that is the problem but the searching outside us is the fundamental mistake. Happiness is something you are, it comes deep inside and it reflects the way we think and see things. The true journey of self-discovery is not the change of environment but the way we see things.

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WAKE UP TO THE ILLS OF THE WORLD - Remember, you're life is Beautiful!

Somewhere out there beyond your computer screen, this world is breathing. Life will always have immense suffering. But because we can adapt and we can evolve. Because we evolve, then we can exist.

Do not avoid contact with suffering or close your eyes before suffering. Do not lose awareness of the existence of suffering in the life of the world. By such means, awaken yourself and others to the reality of suffering in the world.

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VIDEO OF THE TIMES: A Bad Day at Work

We see in life what we want to see. The truth is, we create our own reality. If we search for ugliness I’m sure we’ll find plenty of it. We convince ourselves that our problems are ours alone, and we spend so much of our time hiding our angst, which causes more stress. I learned that everybody struggles with issues and nobody is completely happy and comfortable -- and knowing that is such a huge relief. We feel less alone. We naturally have the tendency to compare ourselves to others who are doing better, but rarely look at less fortunate or a homeless person on the street and thank our good fortune.

We need to figure out our purpose, identify what we love and value most. Because if we achieve the things we value most, I think, we'll be less riveted by what the others are doing. And I know it is a lifelong struggle. The Joneses, the media, and American culture will forever seduce us to betray what is genuinely meaningful for what is comfortable, beautiful, and enviable.

It is by changing the way we think. Unlearned what we learned. To me, it's all a matter of intention. There is so much to be grateful for, so much to be in awe about. Life is precious and extraordinary. If we put our attention on this fact, the little, ordinary things will take on a whole new meaning.

12:58pm – 08/01/06 (Los Angeles, CA)

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VIDEO OF THE TIMES: Story Of My Life

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Your Question?

"Lift up the self by the Self/ and don't let the self droop down/ for the self is the self's only friend/ and the self is the self's only foe." – Bhagavat Gita from a Hindu sacred text

"Life is a storm my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight for one moment and be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when the storm comes." - Count of Monte Cristo

Wrtings from a Journal

Circumstantial Consequences

crawl inside my head
and i will tell you the secrets that i know
look into my eyes before i disappear
so you could see infinity becoming unclear

i ran and hide and see myself
everything here inside is out of control
on the edge of the earth
fallen into oblivion
escaping from the night of despair

welcome to my universe
the changing sky
is falling apart
i could no longer find my voice
lost forever in this great divide

this is another place in another time
where the night is searching for a sign
looking for a new religion
voilent surge took away the friends i've known
carried down and flush away by my fear and pain
there is nothing left for me to mourn except myself

can you hear me still?
are you listening
i'm in my head, spinning
entangled under the burning sun
of circumstantail consequences.

Quotes to Ponder

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. – Yoda

“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
- Martin Luther King

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.- Ralph Waldo Emerson

True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island...to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.
- Baltasar Gracian

May the Lord welcome you in Heaven, at least an hour before the Devil knows you're dead.
- Irish Toast to the Deceased

"what real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul – Great Expectations

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.- Confucius